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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Time & Backsteps

Its been over a month and the candle I was burning was blew out over the last few weeks due to the heavy wind. I am beginning to look back now after the aggravation and the hardship lectures and slaps I was giving myself. It seems I was going really good until the last few weeks where now I will admit I could have done better and could have been a lot stricter on myself. It seems I was down 32.2 lbs and was seeing a great change in my attitude, clothes and physical appearance. But the last few times I have went to weigh I have now lost only a total of 27.2 which is devastating to me.

I had had reached my 10% I had set and it was like I got this- then my body went to show me I do NOT have this. With me losing a total of 120 lbs as my ultimate goal I had BIG plans to show off my weight lose- I am in the process of planning a 10 yr vow renewal ceremony on June 21, 2013.

With this ceremony I have decided it will me more like a wedding type event due to us going out of state to get married- I want the wedding dress, the bridesmaids the whole 9 yards. See I have a vision and I want that to be my focus. The dress has to be perfect after the lose of 120 lbs I want something stunning, elegant, country, and very shapely.  But now I keep telling my self who am I kidding that is over a year away and I could lose the weight and then gain in back by then. I know I know positive outlook.

My butt and gut is saying hold up missy- my mind is saying why fool yourself. I continue to read and she continues to shape up and ship the pounds out which is awesome I am proud of her but for me I am feeling like a failure to anyone who is in my family and to possibly anyone out there reading my blog. This week has started another week. I see this dress dangling in front of me and I just keep falling on my face the past few week. I have decided to get up, brush myself off, blow the long hair I have let grow out of my eyes and show this dress not only is it not the one but I am not that size 28 anymore. 

I can now fit in 22 pants- 2 to3Xl shirts and  I am going to continue to get smaller.

I will show this demon I call food I am ready to get jiggy with it and that I'm to Sexy for my plus size clothes.

Thanks for listening and hope it finds you all well.

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